RUMORS ... ??
HEY! This page contains RUMORS for people of 18+++ which are Manglish jokes that one can hear in places around the world.... especially among Asian country... and it contains some racist jokes... Sorry if it disturb you... However, I would like to share them with you... HEHE...
One day, Ah Choy & Ah Seng were walking down
the Chinatown when they saw something in their path.
"Wait!" cried Ah Choy. "Wat is dat
ho..?"
"Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah
Seng. "Wat is it?"
They approached the thing and looked at it very
closely.
"Eee.. look like shit lah!" say Ah Choy
"Hmmm..smell like shit also!" say Ah
Seng after taking a deep breathe.
Ah Choy then poked the thing with his one finger,
raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said, "Tastes like shit!"
Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing
and stick out his tongue to lick. With confident, he said, "Confirm is shit!"
Then they smiled at each other,
"Wah! lucky we didn't step on it."
Rumor 2
WHAT DO U CALL......
A
singh who entertains
- AMUSING
A
singh who is drunk
- YUM-SENG
A
singh who is a gangster
-
SUM-SENG
A
singh who walks on a tight rope
- BALANCING
A
singh who is lost
- MISSING
A
singh who is noisy
- BEE-SING
An
angry singh at a road junction
- CROSSING
A
singh who likes herbs
-
GIN-SINGH
A
singh who is in toilet
- PISSING
A
singh who is happy
- REJOICING
A
singh pharmacist
- DISPENSING
A
stubborn singh
- REFUSING
A
fastidious singh
- FUSSING
A
singh who celebrates Mothers' Day
- AMAJIT SINGH
A
singh who is coming tomorrow
- MARJIT SINGH
A
singh who lives halfway between Singapore and Kuantan
- MERSING
A
singh who goes swimming every morning
- KULDIP SINGH
(Cool Dip)
The
last singh on earth
- JASWANT SINGH (Just One)
Singh whose mother was in labour for 3 days or
The singh who comes to visit you every 3 days - SANJIT SINGH (3day SINGH -hokkien)
Rumor 3
There is this miss universe
contest.....and the 3 finalists are miss american, miss australia, and miss singapore.
Now....the judges are asking 3
questions to the finalists..
The 1st question is: "Name me an
electrical appliance starting with the letter l..."miss american is as confident as
ever, and replies straight away:"..lamp...".
The judges say good....
Miss australia
replies:"......light bulb...."
The judges say good.....
Now miss singapore is not too
sure......she finally says:".....ladio...."
Then the judges say:"....sorry,
radio doesn't start with letter l....."
Now the 2nd question is:".....Name
me an animal starting with the letter l"
Miss american says
confidently:"....lion...."
The judges say good.....and miss
australia says:"......leopard....."
The judges say good....and now miss
singapore isn't too sure again....
She says:"...labbit..."
The judges say:"...sorry, rabbit
doesn't start with the letter l.....and if you get the next question wrong, I'm afraid you
are out of the contest...."
Now, the 3rd and last
question......:"Name me a fruit starting with the letter l....."miss american
says:"....lime...."
The judges say well done.....
Miss australia
says:.....lemon...."
The judges say well done....
Now miss singapore knows the answer for
once.....she is very confident that she would make it to the next round......
She says:".........LIEW
LIAN..........."
Rumor 4
Observations of People who Speaks Manglish
-----Aren't people who speak Manglish typically good at verbal short-hand?
-----Just look at the way we condense our sentences......
WHEN RETURNING A PAGE.....
INSTEAD OF "Hello, this is Joe, did anyone page for me?
THEY simply call up and demand "hello, who page?!"
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE.....
INSTEAD OF "I really don't recall you giving me the money."
THEY simply spread their hands and say "Where got?"
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER ...
INSTEAD OF "I'd prefer not to do that if you don't mind.."
THEY simply frown and say "Doe waaan" (don't want)
WHEN DECIDING ON A PLAN OF ACTION....
INSTEAD OF "What do you propose we do now that the movies are sold out?"
THEY simply look blur and say "So how?"
WHEN ENTERTAINING.....
INSTEAD OF "Please make yourselves at home."
THEY simply steer people towards the food and say "Mai keh ki leh."
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION.....
INSTEAD OF "Excuse me, but would it be possible for me to take this chair?"
THEY simply point at the chair and say "Can or not?!"
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY....
INSTEAD OF "Hey, put your wallet away, the drinks's on me."
THEY simply give a frowned smile and say "Nonid..." (no need)
WHEN SOMEONE IS IN YOUR WAY....
INSTEAD OF "Excuse me, I'd like to get by, would you please move a little aside?"
THEY simply look down and say "SKIUS!!"
Rumor 5
Beng's 'sorry'
Ah Beng went for a job interview for a
sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind is shouting "Not
this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain
Ah Beng.
So he told Ah Beng, "If you can
form a sentence using the words I gave you, then maybe I will give you a chance!
The words are "Green, Pink,
Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said
"
"I heard the phone go Green, Green, and then I went to pink
up the phone and said Yellow, Blue's that?
White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number.
Don't Purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?
You kena sai."
No
further questions. He got the job.
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this page is created on Nov'98 and maintained by schatje@lizzie tm